Making Money

Craigslist is a great place to find day labor under the table jobs like moving furniture, or painting a fence. Really any classified ad is a good place to start. There are day labors in every city just about, ask a homeless person where to find one if you are hurting for cash. Sometimes they will feed you in the process. But these are long hard hours, and you dont get paid enough for your hard work.

If you have nothing better to do with your life, cans and bottles will make you money. But while you are at it, pick up every penny you see on the sidewalk, pick up every scratched off lottery ticket and double check it, (sometimes drunk people scratch them off but cant figure out the rules and toss them not realizing they won) pick up cok3 caps, and sell them online, sell scrap metal, sell your time on craigslist, sell your soul on ekbay, sell the world to aliens on a cb radio, there are a million ways to make money, use your head.

There is always street performing. I saw a guy once holding a radio playing music, and lip singing to it, at the line for the Ellis island ferry. He was actually making money! This made me think. Technically you can just ask for money, but why not do something entertaining for it? Like read a book out loud. Since ive seen several street performers, and they all do something anyone can do (for the most part) so i think when i got some free time, ill give it a whirl. Although talking to some of them, in some areas they have to have city permits, otherwise they get slapped with hefty fines. (what kind of bull crap is that?)

my friend vegasjay rented a 70$ gorilla suit, and got tourists to take a picture with the gorilla for 5$ a pop, he banked on that one, and think about the naked cowboy, play guitar naked on roller skates, and people will pay you. Theres a million things you can do for cash.

which brings up another suggestion i heard today. If you can find a willing significant other, and a cheap ring (maybe from a thrift store or something) you can always propose as a scam to get things for free. People love lovers, especially newly weds, so take a knee whenever wherever, even get some resteraunt staff in on it, you might even get better seats at that event you have been wanting to go to.

While were on the subject of scams, you can also purchase (or dive depending) some military camo, then wear it, clean shaven and stroll around and see if you can pray off of peoples patritisim. The other day i really wanted to go to the top of the empire state buildinng, (for the elevator ride) but it was outrageously 18$ per person! At the bottom of the sign it said discount with military id, and free for men and women in uniform. So i went back the next day shaved, and in uniform, no joke i got escorted to the front of a 2 hour line, they didnt even check my id, and escorted directly up and down the buildinng.  When i came down, i even got an elevator all to myself! It was fantastic! So keep that in mind

Laundromats

Probably the most useful places on earth for homeless, besides the library.

Why?

You can clean your laundry, fill your water bottles, find an electrical outlet to plug in a computer, or cell phone, take a bird bath, take a dump, charge youre electronics, search for change (from under the machines, and inside the machines as well), collect clothing (from lost and found piles, if not downright take some depending on your morals) Rest for a good few hours as a patron, and not get hassled, meet hot women, and in some cases get on the internet all in the same place.

Chat it up with locals, and get info from them on a number of things, even perhaps a good meal if you play your cards right, and in some movie script cases, a date! Whats not to love about laundromats?

 

Cops and Law Enforcement

Never ever consider a weary cop a friend. Cops hate homeless people, and I think its due to the nature of their job. Cops are not hired to protect people, their job is to protect private property. Therefore homeless do not own private property, and are scum deamed to be fucked with for this fact. The best thing you can do to an inquisitive cop is approach them first with legit blue collar question. "Can you tell me where the nearist bank is? I need to make a deposit." "Where is the best mechanic shop around?" these type of questions establish you as a worthy citizen of society, and generally the cop will change their mind about you in an instant. Cops are tools. They are not your friend, but dont make them your enemy. If you anger a cop, you are liable to have a miserable time. So kiss their ass, and be polite, then take your frustrations out on a pillow as soon as they leave. Because although you can learn alot of useful street information in jail, you most likely dont want to be in there. If you do find yourself in a situation, ask some professionals on a legal advice forum where both cops and legal consultants waste their time for free such as findlaw.com

Bathrooms

Where do I take a you know what?

Well friends, there are a million places for you to take a dump or a pee. (Unless your in NYC). Ladies you think you cant drop the kiddies off at the pool like guys do, but in all honesty, you just think you cant do it. When you see a hooker pop a squat in an alley, and be perfectly content with it, you know you can do anything. After all when you have got a turtle head pokin' out, you have got to go. And why should you prarrie dog it?

In South Korea people squat regardless. They are trained to do it. They even have squatters made for that thing. There is no comforting cold toilet seat to sit on. Ive taken a dump like this several times when there was no other place to go. What can you dodo? Just make sure you always have some sort of toilet paper on you. If you dont have the money for toilet paper, snatch up some napkins form any random restaurant you may visit. Really any store with a bathroom is subject to having free TP. Or something of the equivalent.

Dont be ashamed you have to poop, its a part of life. Do your thing and be done with it.

Guys i dont need to tell you where you can pee. Ive seen guys pee in alleyways, off rooftops, off boats, on cars, out car windows, in bottles, you name it, they have done it. Especially when they are drinking. But ladies, its not as easy for you is it? I suppose you could carry around a funnel to direct your flow better, but thats up to you. Since i cant really say much about you, any ideas from the estrogen family would be highly appreciated.

When it comes to places to use public bathrooms, you have the usual. Libraries, fast food joints, grocery stores (yes they have them always you just have to look for them, sometimes go in the back through the employee doors like i did yesterday) shopping malls, super-centers, public parks, schools, and the list goes on.

My favorite bathrooms are handicapped bathrooms, cause you can do so many things in there. Shower in the sinks, poop, read, sleep, procreate, its very private. The possibilities are endless.

Feel free to clog the toilets as well. Its sort of my calling card. I like to do it because i like to disgust people from their jobs, and plant a seed in their minds that they dont need their jobs as much as they think they do. In an obscure sort of way, its my way of telling people to up and leave and venture out on their own. To reassess their direction they have chosen in life. All with one simple unflushable poop.

Safe Places to Sleep

Some places are more safe than others. Trust your gut, and what others tell you. The best place to sleep is in a house in a bed. We all know that. But you dont have a house, and most likely dont have a bed.

Therefore, check out couchsurfing.com to find a friendly bed near you. You may hve to do some serious asking multitudes of people, after all its a free site, hosted by people with lives of their own. So try it first. If you cant get a place on there....

You can try local community shelters. However shelters are often filled with the homeless people who are homeless because of outside circumstances. Most of these people are lovely people to chat with, but some are paranoid, drunk, theives. So hold onto your valuables tightly.

If you have a car, this is also another very safe method, contrary to popular belief. The most hassle you may have to deal with is construction in the morning waking you up, or an occassional cop making sure you are not dead, or taking up a private spot. As for where to sleep in your car, wal-mart parking lots are great, you can use the bathrooms 24 hours a day, and there is security as well, and usually a bunch of other people sleeping in their cars / motor homes around you. if you cant find a lot like this, you can sleep at bus / train stations, churches, apartment complexes, houses that are up for sale and vacant, and the list goes on. I dont recommend parking garages, or private lots, as you might be woken up by the sound of a tow truck hauling your car away, who may still charge you even though you are in your car.



If you dont have a car, the best thing to do is sleep during the day, and move at night. You can sleep in public parks with no hassle, (yes even central park) landromats, libraries (sometimes), beaches, college campuses, the subway, the bus, the bus stop, behind buildings, rooftops, ect.

At night its a different story.

I have seen people sleep in multitudes of places, some out in the open, some hidden very well. Most people who do sleep at night find places off the beaten path where their likely hood of being spotted by cops or other bums or college kids looking to f with them is slimmer. The problem with this method is that if something were to happen, you are secluded and generally helpless outside of your own self defense. I have seen homeless people make tents out of tarp and suction cups and sleep under store fronts, bridges, bushes, trees, parked cars, you name it, anywhere they can find they will sleep. Remember, if you are asleep outside someplace you are libel to be hassled, no matter what time of day.
Therefore, you can always look for a place to sleep inside. Some call this breaking and entering so be careful where you sleep. You could be arrested. i have slept in abandon houses, houses for sale, and college dorms during the off season, but you can sleep in barns, sheds, treehouses, basicly anywhere you can get in from the elements while not causing a scene.

climate has an important role in his decision....

i really should update this part of the blog, i think ill go do it.

in the meantime,
a decent $20 sleeping bag will do the trick at night, durring the day, if its not to cold the sun does wonders for heat.

usually being awake at night has many advantages as well, its cooler to move about, you can find food easier in dumpsters, etc. and all sorts of other things....

by about 4 or 5am you will be tired and by then a nice hour or two nap is convenient, as cops are off doing other things, people have left the bars, and everything is pretty calm,

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