Where do I take a you know what?
Well friends, there are a million places for you to take a dump or a pee. (Unless your in NYC). Ladies you think you cant drop the kiddies off at the pool like guys do, but in all honesty, you just think you cant do it. When you see a hooker pop a squat in an alley, and be perfectly content with it, you know you can do anything. After all when you have got a turtle head pokin' out, you have got to go. And why should you prarrie dog it?
In South Korea people squat regardless. They are trained to do it. They even have squatters made for that thing. There is no comforting cold toilet seat to sit on. Ive taken a dump like this several times when there was no other place to go. What can you dodo? Just make sure you always have some sort of toilet paper on you. If you dont have the money for toilet paper, snatch up some napkins form any random restaurant you may visit. Really any store with a bathroom is subject to having free TP. Or something of the equivalent.
Dont be ashamed you have to poop, its a part of life. Do your thing and be done with it.
Guys i dont need to tell you where you can pee. Ive seen guys pee in alleyways, off rooftops, off boats, on cars, out car windows, in bottles, you name it, they have done it. Especially when they are drinking. But ladies, its not as easy for you is it? I suppose you could carry around a funnel to direct your flow better, but thats up to you. Since i cant really say much about you, any ideas from the estrogen family would be highly appreciated.
When it comes to places to use public bathrooms, you have the usual. Libraries, fast food joints, grocery stores (yes they have them always you just have to look for them, sometimes go in the back through the employee doors like i did yesterday) shopping malls, super-centers, public parks, schools, and the list goes on.
My favorite bathrooms are handicapped bathrooms, cause you can do so many things in there. Shower in the sinks, poop, read, sleep, procreate, its very private. The possibilities are endless.
Feel free to clog the toilets as well. Its sort of my calling card. I like to do it because i like to disgust people from their jobs, and plant a seed in their minds that they dont need their jobs as much as they think they do. In an obscure sort of way, its my way of telling people to up and leave and venture out on their own. To reassess their direction they have chosen in life. All with one simple unflushable poop.
3 comments:
Females can learn to pee standing up.
Or if you're just badtastical like me, just find a corner and squat.
COnsumer Bazooka
I have female parts and i've peed in some places mom and dad wouldn't be particularly proud of.
Tips for ladies on the go:
Always make sure you're going somewhere where nobody will be able to watch you, because you might need to pull your pants down pretty far to not make a mess of yourself.
If you can find a paper towel roll or a toilet paper roll you can use it pretty easily to direct your flow. You can use a sturdy piece of cardboard or plastic; anything that won't sag or get too wet can be curved or rolled up to direct pee away from your body. Use a wide stance: you don't want peepee on your shoes. If you have an extra bottle that can be thoroughly washed or disposed of, pee into it.
I prefer to wear skirts and this choice of clothing increases the ease with which I can pee outdoors. Not to mention that if needed I can stop and just stand up if someone comes lurking.
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